They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
