Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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