I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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