I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize