youre lurking in front of me
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
