She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
