Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
