Duck Duck Cougar?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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