Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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