HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
