I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
