I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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