good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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