So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
