I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
