I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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