He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
