take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
