they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
