This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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