overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
