just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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