if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
