thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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