found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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