Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
