Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
