My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
