Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
nutella sex= disaster
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
