Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
