I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
