Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
