He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
ok first of all what the fuck
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
