Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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