Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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