We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
