for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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