we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
