This gyro tastes like lonliness
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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