He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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