I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
