Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
