are you still at the devil's house?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
