She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
