They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I see more hoeing in ur future
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