I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
