All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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