a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
