whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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