she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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