i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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