My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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