So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
